Until Tomorrow
by sej1986
Summary: Jack&Chloe. Warning: character death.


Until Tomorrow

The night air was cool. Jack half-heartedly wrapped his jacket tighter around himself as he stepped into the back yard, sliding the glass door shut after him. He couldn't see her but knew she was there, somewhere, in the darkness. Walking out to the centre of the grass, he shivered against the breeze, casting an eye up to the second floor window where their daughter slept. The light was off, as it should have been, and he allowed himself to feel somewhat more relaxed.

She was late, but he waited. It was their usual nightly routine, the only time they had alone together. She would arrive soon, and until she did he kept his eyes peeled for any sign of movement.

The wind calmed suddenly, and Jack turned. "Are you there, sweetheart?"

As if in response, the clouds parted overhead, the moonlight pouring down and splashing light into the once darkened yard. He smiled. "I thought it was you. I missed you today."

Silence met his ears but he didn't mind. He was used to it by now. He did the talking while she listened. Occasionally he thought he heard her say something in response but more often than not it was his memory playing tricks on him. This night, he saw, was going to be no different from any other night they had shared in the last ten years. He took a deep breath, walking over to the small bench in the corner of the garden where they often held their conversations. It was situated away from prying eyes, tucked into the most secluded spot that she herself had picked out. Sitting down, he remembered her face, screwed up in concentration as she argued with him about where the bench was going to go. "You were right," he said now, softly. "At least now we get some time to ourselves."

_"That's the whole idea."_

It was as though she'd known. They'd only ever really started using the bench after...

Jack shook his head. She couldn't have known. She was his Chloe, his beautiful Chloe, but even she couldn't have anticipated what was to come. It had been outside of their control.

"Every day I wish it could have been me instead of you, you know that?" He said the same thing to her every night but every night he got the same response. _"I need you to take care of our baby."_

"I'm trying," he whispered, not bothering to fight the tears as they slid down his cheeks. "I look at her and I see you. She's so beautiful. I know you'd be proud of her." He paused, gathering his thoughts. "Why did it have to happen, baby? Why did they take you from me?"

_"I'm sorry, Mr. Bauer... the infection has spread... I'm afraid there is nothing more we can do for her."_

"No. No. NO!" He was hardly aware of his own voice, shouting words he had shouted all those years before, the sound just as anguished now as it had been before. "Come back to me, please... I know I don't deserve it but I can't... I can't be alone any more." He buried his face in his hands and sobbed, imagining the feel of her arms around him, comforting him. More than once he'd contemplated ending it, just giving up, anything to be with her again but he knew it was entirely selfish. She'd given so much for him that to just cave in would have been foolish, weak. She wouldn't have wanted it. Someone needed to be there to look after their daughter.

He'd named her Hannah Emma Michelle. Hannah was the name Chloe had always liked; Emma was his choice. And Michelle was entirely in memory of a friend they'd not once forgotten.

Gradually, his breathing returned to normal. Staring up at the sky, he saw the clouds start forming a curtain across the moon. "Don't go just yet," he pleaded, almost reaching out a hand towards her, as though he could somehow hold her there indefinitely. "I'm not ready." He felt the air warm slightly; the clouds were picking up speed. "No, not yet, please..."

"Who are you talking to, Daddy?"

Jack looked up sharply to find Hannah staring at him, the quizzical look on her face so like her mother's that for a minute he had to battle to keep his emotions in check. It took him a minute to find his voice, and when he did he was alarmed by how shaky it sounded. "I was just talking to Mommy," he managed finally, turning his back briefly on the little girl to wipe his eyes. When he turned back he saw her staring up at the sky, scowling in concentration. "Is that where she's gone, up there?"

"Sort of," he murmured, shivering against a sudden breeze. "What are you doing up, anyway?"

"Couldn't sleep." Hannah refocussed her attention on her father, her eyes bright. "Why are you talking to the sky, though? I don't get it. I can't see Mommy up there."

"Remember when I showed you a picture of your mom?" Jack explained patiently, waiting while she processed the information. Finally, she nodded. "Well, I told you to close your eyes and imagine her, didn't I?" Another nod. "That's what I do. I imagine she's here with me... with us."

"I wish I could have met her," Hannah said quietly.

"You did, very quickly," Jack told her, stepping across the grass until he was by her side. "She loved you so much."

"Why couldn't she stay, Daddy? If she loved me, why did she go?"

"She didn't mean to... she didn't want to leave us." Jack swallowed against the lump in his throat. He'd known his daughter would start asking questions at some point; he'd just assumed that as she was almost ten years old that she had merely accepted her mother's absence in her life. He realised he should have known better than to assume- she was her mother's daughter, after all. Clearing his throat, he went on, "Sometimes, when people want to be together, bad things happen that come between them."

Hannah nodded. "I don't know why, though. I don't think it's fair."

"No," Jack agreed, "it's not."

"You really loved Mommy, didn't you?" Hannah's pale blue eyes searched his and Jack knew he couldn't hide from her. "So much," he whispered, wrenching his gaze from hers and staring once more up into the star filled night sky. "I love you so much, Chloe. I wish to God you were here with us right now."

Hannah slipped her hand into his and squeezed tightly. "Can she hear us, Daddy?"

Wordlessly, Jack nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Next to him, Hannah fidgeted for a few minutes, obviously building herself up to say something. Eventually, she looked up at the stars, smiling almost to herself. "Mom, if you're up there, and you are, cause Daddy says you are, then, well, I have to tell you something." She looked to Jack for reassurance before continuing. "I never really met you, but Daddy tells me you were really special. I'm Hannah, your daughter. Hannah Emma Michelle." She smiled again. "I used to think it was such a long name but I like it now. Anyway," she went on, chewing nervously on her bottom lip, "I'm going to go now, I just wanted to say hi, and... I love you, Mom."

Over their heads, the moon broke through the ever-thickening cloud. "You think she heard me, Daddy?" Hannah frowned.

"I know she did, sweetheart," came the choked response. He closed his eyes briefly. "Come on, let's go back inside. Get you back in the warm."

Hannah didn't need telling twice; she bounded ahead of him back into the house, was already half way up the stairs by the time Jack stepped back in through the door and slid it shut behind him. He took one final glance out into the yard; it was slowly darkening save for one spot. He smiled sadly, raising his hand almost as a parting gesture. "Until tomorrow, sweetheart."


End file.
